Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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