My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
