your room smells of hookers.
And success
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
