she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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