By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
a search helicopter?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
