i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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