Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
