You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
