After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
is it fun? or sober?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
