That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
