He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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