This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
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I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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