i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.