she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
