Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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