if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want nice things and good sex
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
