So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
