Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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