Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
