hell yes lets make some ravioli
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
