I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
