Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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