so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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