just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
