He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
