Im at strip club and am horny
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
