3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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