I wish i was in the wii world.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize