Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
