We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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