Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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