In the future we'll all be gay
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
