Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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