the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
