Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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