belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
