let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
