operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
