Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
