ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
