She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize