a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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