i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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