So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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