This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
