We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
