Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
