I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no you cant smoke seaweed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
