apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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