Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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