shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
