I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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