I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
