he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize