Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize