we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
