Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

Fav 23 1212 1862
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

we'll go far in life on tits alone.

Fav 22 5262 1271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

Fav 47 6976 1894
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

Fav 26 1764 4270
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

Fav 23 5321 1470
share tweet
(514): View more from Quebec

btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

Fav 1 2665 1113
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

Fav 5 1467 980
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus

Fav 2 911 427
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"

Fav 0 98 58
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT