You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.