Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
