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• (512): View more from Texas

  He told me I remind him of his sister...

  (917): View more from New York City

  Was this before or after you did it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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• (909): View more from California

  why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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• (714): View more from California

  You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions

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• (518): View more from New York

  Why does your place smell like gin and misery?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'

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