I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Quick, to the slutcave!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants