i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
