Got a toothbrush?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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