She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
