I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
