Dual....:-)
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
