So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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