Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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