Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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