Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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