So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Who died my cat blue again?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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