Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
