hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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