Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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