Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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