I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize